Norma's memorial service was beautiful: so many faces, all with that look that said, Yes, I loved her, too.
My husband and sister-in-law and brother-in-law did so well in honoring Norma during the service, with treasured memories, a favorite passage, etc. The remembrances David and his sister wrote were just perfect. The pastors involved were wonderful- personable, sincere, authentic and open and vulnerable- after all, they really knew her. They felt the loss, too. The music director, who played a piece that he sort of improvised, but which was based on a familiar hymn? Well, he was just a spark of light with that offering, with his goodbye. One thing Norma always loved was music.
Because Norma knew her time was limited, she was able to plan her own service to a great extent, and the feel of her was everywhere during the service. She chose certain songs, she chose certain photos, poetry, Bible verses. Her personality was present.
A week and a day before she passed away, Norma asked me if I would read a poem I had written for her at the service when the time came. It was a poem I had written specifically for her, to accompany a photo in a book of watercolor paintings I gave her for a birthday. I had just gone through the book and started writing poems for the pictures that struck me the most imtensely, and one of those paintings happened to bring to mind the woman herself, and the fight she was , in fact, still waging at the time. She was in a temporary remission when I wrote the poem, but even though cancer took her, I believe that ultimately, she still lived - and died- in such a way that cancer did not win.
It was part of a birthday gift I gave to her at one time, but now it is my I-will-miss-you.
I Chose These For You
(for "Queen Anne's Lace at the Bridge",
painting by Mary Lou Ferbert)
Adaptation, inspiration (grown in
a hostile environment). There are
miracles, grace inherent;
and there is strength in the vulnerable.
We admire what can be at once
sturdy and fragile, ethereal yet
indomitable. Life says yes to life,
over and again acknowledging it.
Like you, these thirsted, and grew.
Beautiful one,
I chose these for your triumph,
for the whole lovely way you live
so well, a woman so strong.
I chose these for you.
Like you,
they fought,
and they won.
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